So, Season of the Witch stars Nicolas Cage and Clay from Sons of Anarchy as knights in the 1300s-ish and they’re going to transport a witch for some reason.
This seems to be almost horror – witches get hung and drowned before coming back to life to kill the priest who ordered the execution. I’d probably be scared if I wasn’t laughing at the acting and lack of accents. Nic and Ron Perlman, who are way too old to be running around fighting in the crusades, are using some old English words and speech patterns but with their normal accents and modern slang. Wow, it’s bad. I wonder if there was a script or if the actors were just given an outline of the general story like they do on Curb Your Enthusiasm. Note to writers: these guys need a script. The dialogue is absolutely awful. As I watch Perlman, I can see him laughing at the producers for paying him for this.
Most of the action takes place in front of a green screen and there are a lot of creepy moments just for the sake of being creepy. It seems lazy and thrown together. The storytelling isn’t good either. Towards the end Nic starts explaining what just happened while flashbacks from the movie I’m in the middle of watching appear on the screen. I didn’t forget, I’m not that stupid, and this is not that complicated. On a positive note, there are zombie monks. They are good for a laugh if nothing else.
Rating: Hate
